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PART II: HOW TO SAY NO AND GET WHAT YOU WANT
PART II: Assertiveness Training: How To Say … “No”… and Get What You REALLY Want!
Right out of the gate let me rob you of a discovery:
There are two critically important factors that are short circuiting your assertive super powers and messing with your god given right to be happy, successful and fulfilled:
It’s the Why and the What factor …
More specifically:
WHY:Not being aware of the deeper motives (sometimes unconscious) that drives your yes/no answers
WHAT:Not knowing what it is you really want
When you have a handle on the “WHY?” and “What?” the rest is simple:
Say… “NO” … to the things that hurt you … and … “YES” … to the things that help you!
The “WHY” and “WHAT” is different for everybody; but for all intents and purposes the goal is the same wether you are the Janitor or CEO:
To get what you want of course!
Here’s how:
ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING 101: Getting to your “WHY” in 3 Easy Steps
Step 1:Read Part I if you haven’t alreadyRead Part I: “How to say No and Get What you Really Want”
Step 2:Think of the last three times you said YES when you wanted to say NO
Step 3:Then do what it takes to find your “Why?”
Take your time on this …
It took me a few weeks and some frank discussions with friends before I got to my “WHY” I say Yes when I wanted to say No.
In the meantime …
Answer these … LOADED … questions to help get the juices flowing …
(don’t kill the messenger)
I say YES when I really want to say NO Questionnaire:
Is it so people will like me?
Do you want to be seen as someone who can get it done?
Did you grow up in an environment that drives this behavior?
Was it to make you look good and someone else bad?
Do you think someone will finally notice you and you will be promoted?
Are you avoiding something? What?
Is it more important to you how things appear to others vs how you feel about it?
Where do you get your self worth? Is it tied up in being a people pleaser?
Are there dire repercussions if you say anything other than yes?
Is it that you want everyone to be happy and get along?
Are you afraid of defending your position if you say no?
Were you fully conscious when you gave your answer?
Are you telling yourself “No else can do it?”
Is someone volunteering you?
Are you being bullied?
Are you lonely?
Are you to shy?
Did you volunteer before you were even asked?
Other questions (insert here)
“THE OLDEST SHORTEST WORDS- “YES” AND “NO”- ARE THOSE WHICH REQUIRE THE MOST THOUGHT”
~Pythagorus
Dig deep and figure it out folks …
This is a life changer.
And … PLEASE … don’t be afraid to talk it out with a good friend/councilor/guide/therapist … whatever.
Just get it done …
Because once you find and understand (or even have partial awareness) of your “WHY” … you are going to make better choices … and then things are going to change for the better …
We promise!
Stay Tuned For Part III:
ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING: How to Say NO and Get What you REALLY Want!
In part III we will share a Powerful Assertiveness Formula that will show you:
1. How to combine your “WHAT” and ” Why” to supercharge your assertiveness skills.
2. Replace your old “WHY” to make things happen in your life you … NEVER … in your wildest dreams thought possible!
To Your Success!
Andrew + TurnMaker Team
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